The Worst Kind of Irony
by MakeTheStarsFall
Summary: AU Suze's abusive boyfriend is out of control, and she turns to long time friend Jesse for solace and comfort. They both find themselves falling for each other... but Jesse has a girlfriend. And it's not Suze. R&R is appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I'm Panda and this is my third story for Fan Fiction. My other two, Faultline and Tell Me a Ghost Story, are both for Mediator. Please let me know what you think of this story, The Worst Kind of Irony, by reading and reviewing.**

**Whole Story inspired by Alanis Morisette's song, "Ironic", especially the part "Isn't it ironic, meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife." Please R&R. love, panda**

* * *

Suze's POV

"Bye, Ryan, I--" I don't know if I could say it. I don't think I could tell him I loved him. Hell, I don't know even if I _do _or not. Ryan glanced back at me eagerly.

"Go ahead, say it." I took a deep breath and stared at my feet like they held the cure for cancer.

"I love you." I murmured it so softly, but I think he still heard me, or at least he acted like he did. I turned to the door and gripped the doorknob and started to turn it when Ryan protested.

"Wait, Suze, where are you going?" I sighed. Here we go again.

"Ryan, I told you, I'm going home. It's getting late." I'd been over at his house for about an hour and a half, and we'd been messing around the entire time because his parents were on a trip for the weekend. But my mom said I had to be home by ten, and it was about quarter 'til, which was cutting it close for the ten minute drive I had back to my house.

"No, Suze, don't go..." He whined. I hated it when he got like this.

"Ryan, I'm leaving." I said firmly and turned the doorknob all the way, the windy night streets of Carmel ahead of me. Ryan grabbed my pony tail in frustration and yanked back on it _hard. _I mean really hard. Because I had kept my hand on the door, it was pulled shut. Ryan let go and stared at me in pure shock.

"Suze, I-- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I massaged my scalp with my free hand with one hand still on the door handle. I had a feeling that if I let go of the door, I might not be able to get ahold of it again. Ryan opened arms up for a hug, but I shook my head and opened the door again.

"I'm leaving now, Ryan." This time he didn't even try to stop me as I slammed the door shut on him and ran towards my car. I climbed in the driver's seat, buckled up, an banged my head a couple of times on the steering wheel.

_Bang. _Why did he do that? He's never really done anything like that before. It scared me. What if, next time, he tried to do something else? Something that would hurt a lot more than pulling my pony tail...

_Bang. _Why the hell was I still with him? I mean, I like Ryan a lot, and he can be great. But it has been very clear to me for awhile that our relationship is going nowhere. It's like, I'm going to be a senior next year, and after that, _college. _And _marriage. _And I don't really want to be married to Ryan, so I should probably open up my chances, right? If only I could.

I sped away down the dark streets of Carmel, California, the fresh sea breeze streaming through my hair with the windows down. I hope Mom wasn't waiting for me in the living room like she usually did after I came home from Ryan's house. But, my hopes were dashed when I looked into the living room window and saw that the lights were on. I took a deep breath, locked up my car in the driveway, and trudged into the house reluctantly. My mother, as usual, was waiting on the sofa reading a magazine over her reading glasses. This time, though, Andy was with her with his arm around her shoulders.

They both looked at me expectantly for an explanation for my lateness while, simultaneously, I muttered, "Traffic jam." They nodded approvingly and I dragged myself upstairs to inspect the damage done to my scalp and noggin.

I changed quickly into some boxer shorts and a t-shirt, stripping off my bra and letting loose of my pony tail. Then I shuffled in to my bathroom to brush my teeth, gently combing out my long dark hair with my fingers at the same time. I winced. Just _touching _it hurt.

Brushing my teeth, I thought about calling Jesse... yeah that would be a good idea. Jesse would know what to do; he always did. I went back into my bedroom and picked up the phone, dialing his number.

"Jesse?" I was anxious to hear his voice.

"Yes, Susannah," he always called me by my real name. He never gave an explanation why, though, he just did, "what do you want?" He sounded distracted which probably meant...

"Jesse, I need to talk to you. Are you doing anything right now?"

"Yes. Lily's over." Snap. Lily's his girlfriend that he's had for about two years now, and she was nice and everything, but kind of shallow. You could tell she wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. But Jesse said she made him happy, and in return he took care of her. Lily was a petite red head, really cute, but totally defenseless and pathetic.

I sighed. "Well, can you pretty please call me when she leaves? I really need to talk to you about something... or, just come over to the balcony when she leaves. Please?" I have a balcony right outside my room where Jesse and I would talk. We used to talk every night, but ever since he'd been with Lily we'd be lucky to get together once a week. I don't know if Lily knows about our late night talks, but I have a feeling that if she did happen to find out, she wouldn't be happy. Lily is definitely the jealous type.

"Okay, Susannah. Good-bye." I knew he'd be over soon. Ever since he'd been with Lily, when I called, he knew it was about something important. Jesse would usually try to convince Lily to go home soon after I called. In most situations, he seemed to value my friendship over Lily's romance, and I respected him for that.

I sat down on my bed to continue massaging my scalp, because it still hurt like hell. I watched for him, still sitting on my bed in my Vera Wang pajamas and peering out the screen door to the balcony. Soon enough, not but twenty minutes before I called, Jesse was there, sitting in in one of the rocking chairs I had out there. It wasn't a big balcony, just barely spacious enough for two chairs and a little table for lemonade in the summer.

I went out there and sat in my chair, and Jesse and I just stared at the starry California sky before he asked me a simple question, a relevant question, but one that confused me the most right then.

"What's wrong, querida?" He'd always called me 'querida', something in Spanish, but I didn't want to ruin it for myself by looking up its meaning. For all I know, it could mean turball or diaper or something. Who knew.

I couldn't look him in the eye, so I turned to the side and looked down.

"A lot of things are wrong, Jesse."

* * *

**Please review and let me know what you think of it!! love, panda**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey... thanks for reading and reviewing!! I love you guys sooooooooo much. love, panda  
**

* * *

"Care to specify, Susannah?" Suddenly I felt like I couldn't tell him anything. I _never_ felt that way.

"No." I said quietly. Jesse's voice softened with the next plea for an explanation. He scooted his rocking chair over closer to mine and placed a hand on my shoulder, gently rubbing it. I was still massaging my scalp, which was brought to his attention.

"Please tell me what's wrong." He'd lowered his head so his mouth could whisper in my ear. I shook my head.

"I can't..." You might think that by now Jesse would be frustrated with the fact that I dragged him over to my house only to deny what is wrong. But no, I happened to do this a lot and he had learned to be very patient about it. We were silent for a few minutes, me rubbing my scalp and Jesse rubbing my shoulder. Then I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Are you sleeping with her?" I, of course, was referring to Lily. Jesse took a finger and tilted my head to look up at his. He was smiling a little bit, and that made me think that everything was going to be all right.

"I'm at liberty to ask you the same question." He said quietly. I didn't have to look at him to hear the subtle smirk in his deep voice.

"Jesse, I can assure you I am _not_ sleeping with your girlfriend." He laughed and shook his head.

"That's not exactly what I meant, but never mind. Querida, please tell me what's wrong." His attention was now drawn to my reddened scalp that you could see through my dark hair. His fingers grazed over it, making me shiver. Then he gasped.

"Susannah, did Ryan-- did he-- Did he try to hurt you?" The bitter tears I had been holding in for quite some time escaped and rolled down my cheeks, the sobs racking my body. Jesse didn't ask any more questions, just continued rubbing my shoulders. That was beginning to feel very good. He didn't say anything for a good long while as I cried my head off. When I had finally calmed down, he asked me another question.

"Can you tell me what he did? If you don't want me to, I won't tell any one." I grunted. The horrific images of Ryan pulling my hair, me falling back in shock, the door slamming closed. The sad and surprised look on his cute little face, the guilty appearance in his light blue eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to forget those scary moments.

"He-- he-- he pulled my p-p-p-pony tail when I tried to l-l-leave...hard... he's never done anything like that before, Jesse." With the last part, I had pulled myself together, but my breathing was still uneven. Jesse turned my head around again to look at him. Right at that moment, I realized I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me, for me to be in his arms.

"What did you do after that?"

"I left." I said bluntly, still avoiding his eyes. Jesse ran his fingers over my scalp again.

"Does this hurt, querida?" I shook my head, murmuring a quiet "Not really..." Jesse continued stroking and rubbing my head and I didn't try to stop him, partly because it felt good and partly because I didn't have the energy to stop him.

"Does Lily..." He cut me off. I was going to ask him if she knew about our frequent late night talks, but _no. _He had to go and be Mr. Supportive Best Friend Who Will Not Change His Mind About Being Supportive.

Oh, joy is my life.

"We're not going to talk about Lily. We're going to talk about you and... Ryan." At the sound of his name, all the good times we'd had together suddenly flashed through my mind: our one year anniversary, when he took me to the pier and told me he loved me; my sweet sixteen, where he surprised me with a giant party and the biggest bouquet of roses I've ever seen; when I'd found out that my grandma died, he gave me a shoulder to cry on, and _did _I cry. See, Ryan's not _all_ bad.

I said the first thing that came to mind right at that moment.

"Jesse, I feel like crap."

"Well, you look like crap." See, isn't he nice? Though, I can understand how he could come to that conclusion; my red puffy eyes from crying, my hair was a mess, and I'd never washed my makeup off so my eye liner was in streaks down my cheeks. **(A/N ha! it rhymes!)**

"Thank you." We were quiet for awhile, Jesse continuing to stroke my hair.

"Jesse," I said softly, "why would Ryan do something like that? Why would he hurt me? He says he loves me..." Jesse picked me up and moved me on to his lap, which he'd never done before, probably because of Lily. She was like Jesse's own little entourage; I could hardly ever catch him without her.

"You shouldn't do that. I shouldn't be on your lap." I said quietly, but I didn't put much effort into my plea. My heart was beating like I'd just run a marathon with nervousness. Jesse didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me, murmuring that everything was going to be okay, that Ryan wasn't going to hurt me again. Then I turned around to look at him.

Right before I was going to protest again, Jesse leaned down and

kissed me.

Dammit, his lips were so soft and so warm and so... not Ryan's. It felt good, it felt wrong, it felt right, I wanted more, I wanted him to stop, hell, I don't know what I wanted.

It was right when he began to press his tongue into my mouth that I pulled away, gasping for breath.

Jesse, his breathing also ragged, his more than mine, looked me in the eye and muttered, "There are a lot of things we shouldn't do."


	3. Chapter 3

I clambered out of Jesse's lap and curled up in the fetal position in my own rocking chair. Jesse was quiet, just simply sighing every once in awhile.

Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to dazzle me with his amazing kissing skills? Why did he have to tempt me with something I couldn't have? Dammit, why did he have to taste so _good_?

"Susannah, I--" I cut him off. Now I was mad at him.

"No. Why the hell did you have to go and do that? You should _not _have taken advantage of a poor emotional, slightly high female like me." He didn't say anything for a minute.

"I would like to remind you that you kissed back wholeheartedly."

"But why? Why did you have to go and tempt me with something I obviously can't have?" I was on a roll here. I bet he could hear the tears in my voice.

"Because-- because-- because, I don't know, querida." That word again.

"What the hell does that mean, anyway?" Jesse was silent, but I heard the scribbling of a pen on paper.

"You know what," I ranted angrily, "I don't even want to know. Jesse, just-- just go home." Again, he was quiet, and didn't say anything as he climbed down the ladder leading up to my balcony. I watched him walk back to his house next door. Before he went inside, he glanced up and caught me watching him, like he always did. I had the habit of watching him go home, just to make sure he gets there, I guess. Not that there's a reason to worry about Jesse, of course.

This time, we held each others' gazes a little longer than usual, and much longer than necessary. I closed my eyes and tilted my head downward, and when I looked up he was gone.

I went back inside and passed out, I was so tired.

* * *

I woke up that morning and remembered it was a Saturday. Good, I wanted to see Ryan today. Speaking of which, he called fifteen minutes after I had gotten out of the shower.

"Hey, babes, what are you up to?" His voice was nice and happy, very perky. It made me smile. As the grin crossed my face I forgot all about all of my worries with Jesse kissing me and such.

"Not much, Ry. You want to do something?"

"Yeah... do you want to go to the park?" Good. A public date, just in case something else happened, like last night's episode. Sigh.

"Sure!"

"I'll be right over. See you in a few! Love you, Suze."

"Bye, Ryan." I just couldn't bring myself to say that I loved him. I know he'd probably yell at me for not saying it later, too, but whatever. I went outside on the balcony to look out on the sunrise like I did every morning. I saw on the little lemonade table a small piece of paper with a single word on it.

_Beloved_

That's all it said. My mind flashed back to when I asked Jesse last night what 'querida' meant, and when I heard the scratching of a pen on paper. This is what he'd wrote.

Dammit, he knew what got to me. I held the little paper in my hand and stared at it, almost in disbelief. He'd been calling me his beloved for years now, and I hadn't even known it. My thoughts went to Lily, how she didn't know what happened last night and never will. This whole thing's not really fair to her, now is it.

I came back to the present and smeared on a smudge of lip gloss before running down our large wooden stairs and perching my butt on the couch to wait for Ryan. The doorbell rang seconds later. I jumped up and eagerly opened the door, waving perkily. A slow, sexy smile crossed Ryan's face as he opened his arms up for a hug. Even though it wasn't really my style, I obliged and hugged him back. His brow furrowed and he pulled away to look at me.

"Suze, you seem a little... off. Did you do something you're not telling me?" My heart froze at those simple words, but I brushed it off quickly with my 'feminine wiles', as Father Dominic from school would say.

"No, why would you think that?" I cooed, placing my hand on his cheek and pressing my lips to his briefly. That always distracted him. This reminded me that Ryan was not nearly as good of a kisser as Jesse is. Which reminded me that Jesse's lips felt sooooo good... much better than they should have. That made me feel a little bit guilty, but what can I say. I'm a girl and I have a hot best friend who happens to enjoy kissing me. At the moment, I'm not complaining.

Ryan slipped his arm around my waist as we walked off to the park. This relevant gesture of affection was, like I said, relevant and expected, but it made me feel squeamish for some reason. I squirmed out of his grasp and held his hand instead.

"Suze, what's that about?" His brow furrowed again.

"You know, if you keep doing that," I touched my finger to the spot between his eyebrows, "it's going to be like that permanently and then you'll get arthritis of the eyebrows and then no one will want to kiss you anymore." He smiled a little, and didn't mention my worming out of his arm again.

We arrived at the park.

"Ooh, the swings! I love the swings..." I escaped his grasp again and took off running. I looked back and to my disappointment, spotting Ryan rolling his eyes. I heard him mutter, "Big baby..." I guess he wanted to be boring and just walk through the park. But not me. _I'm _getting on the swings.

And by the way, I know right now I seem really fake and cheerleaderish (no offense cheerleaders), but that's seems to be the way that Ryan likes it. He likes me to play the dumb blond and let him take care of me. Don't ask questions.

I sat on the swings and pushed myself off, pumping my legs back and forth to get higher. Ryan crossed his arms from about ten feet away and glared at me. I cocked my head and looked at him.

"What, baby?" He continued glaring at me.

"Suze, get off the swings. We came here to take a walk, NOT to play on the swings." I didn't stop swinging, just looked at him funny from above.

"_Jesse _would swing with me." I grumbled, but Ryan managed to hear me.

"Jesse? Who the hell is Jesse?" He paused for a minute and looked at me with a completely appalled face.

"Is Jesse the guy you were kissing last night?" My heart stopped, but I managed to pull myself together enough to raise an eyebrow at him.

"I wasn't kissing any one last night, Ryan. The only guy I've kissed since I've been going out with you _is _you." He looked angry and disgusted at me. Uh oh.

"Suze, then who were you kissing last night?"

"I told you, Ryan, I wasn't kissing anybody!"

"Who was that on your balcony last night then?" My mouth fell open.

"How did you--" He cut me off rather rudely.

"I know _someone _comes over there every other day or something, Suze. Late at night. I watch from my car." Wow. I was shocked, and my mouth fell even more open. I knew Ryan was protective of me, but really. _Watching from his car_? I can't even count on the privacy of my own house anymore?

"Um, Ryan, why do you watch me from your car?" His stony expression didn't waver.

"So, Suze, I can keep an eye on you."

"You need to stop doing that, please. That's seriously invading my privacy. And kind of stalker ish."

"Are you calling me a stalker, Suze? I'm just your boyfriend." The look on his face was 'duh'.

"Ryan, all I'm asking is for you to go home at night and watch TV or something like a normal guy. Not watch my house just to keep an eye on me."

"Why?" He had me a bit stumped there, but I came up with an answer.

"Because, Ryan. If you don't knock it off, I don't think I can be in a relationship with you." I hopped off the swing and walked over to him. He was fuming. You could almost see the smoke billowing out of his ears. I started to walk away to find my way home _away _from him, but he grabbed my face in one hand and squeezed. It hurt like hell.

"Suze. Do. Not. Leave. Me. I. Love. You." Tears started streaming out of his eyes as he grumbled this message through his teeth. Then he let go of me and tossed me to the ground. I landed on my arm, and a shooting pain went through my wrist up to my shoulder, and I think I broke it.

Ryan left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey. Read please. and reviewing is always nice. And why is it that I have almost 200 hits but 12 reviews?? just a thought... ;)**

"Susannah. Susannah, wake up. The ambulance is..." Wait. Ambulance? No, ambulances bad. My eyes fluttered open and stared straight into Jesse's worried ones. His hand cupped my cheek, and it was nice and warm. Next to him was Lily. Curse. Her. Grandchildren. That she will _not _be having with Jesse. As hot as Jesse is and has always been, I couldn't muster a smile. My arm hurt too damn bad. Ryan.

"Jesse, goddamn it, my arm hurts like hell." I spit out angrily. Do not forget that I am mad at him for kissing, as good as he tasted. Lily's petite little heart shaped head hovered over my face.

"Jesse, Jesse, is Susie gonna be okay?" Goddamn it, she sounded like a five year old.

"Susannah's going to be alright, Lily." Without averting my gaze, still staring straight into my eyes, he kissed her quickly on the mouth. Lily giggled and kissed him again. This time he closed his eyes and started making out with her right in front of me.

"Hem hem." I cleared my throat and they stopped, the paramedics waving them aside to get to me. They loaded me up on a stretcher, and managed not to hurt my arm in the process of doing so.

"Do woine of you guys woinna ride with her?" The paramedic asked with a sleazy New York accent.

Jesse said firmly with a commanding tone to his voice, "Lily, you drive my car to the hospital, just follow the ambulance, and call my cell phone if you need help getting there." He treated her like such a baby; not that she's not one.

"I'll ride with Susannah." No. That's the last thing I need, to be alone (well, not really alone, just alone with a paramedic driving. I guess they didn't need to check my vitals or anything because one of them didn't ride in the back with me. But there was a divider between them and me and Jesse. So, yes, technically I was alone with Jesse. Which is not how I wanted it right then.) with Jesse. He touched the side of my face.

"Susannah, how did this happen?" I shot him a fearful look, and he looked completely disgusted in an appalling kind of way.

"Ryan did this to you, querida?" Beloved. I nodded, which somehow made the shooting pain go through my wrist up to my shoulder again. Dammit, I probably broke it. Damn. Sigh. Damn. Sigh. Damn.

"You need to stop seeing him, if he did this." I nodded again, which at the moment meant absolutely nothing. He drew his hand away from my cheek, but not before looking me in the eye briefly.

Jesse's POV

I was suddenly furious, not at Susannah, but at myself. And at Ryan.

I could've stopped him... if only I'd taken better care of her. She needed someone to take care of her, whether she liked it or not, and whether she _knew _it or not. And maybe if I hadn't have kissed her, then she wouldn't have been so eager to go with him. Maybe she wouldn't have even gone with him in the first place.

My thoughts, my mind went back to last night. The warm, comforting feeling of her soft lips moving on mine; the burning touch of her hands on my collarbone. The furious beating of her heart next to my chest. The nervous feeling that we knew we shouldn't be doing this; but we did it anyway. The fact that I knew I was betraying Lily in a way and the fact that she was betraying Ryan. I realized that I shouldn't have kissed her then, when she was so weak and fragile, emotionally. But though I don't think I could ever tell her, she never looked cuter than when she was upset, the puffiness of her eyes and her cheeks were so red, her hair was a mess, a beautiful mess. And I loved it when she pouted and crossed her arms, and when she squinted her eyes up when she was mad at me, which had been more and more often in the past few years that I had been with Lily. Poor, sweet innocent Lily.

I peeked out the window and saw Lily driving slowly and carefully behind the ambulance, who's lights and sirens were not on. I guess Susannah, right now, was not on the high priority list because she was not spurting blood and her breathing was normal. And all of her body parts are still attached.

I waved at Lily and she gave me one of her prize winning beauty pageant grins and blew a kiss. I smiled back.

"We're goinna be at the hospital in about a minute and a half, so getchoi selves ready." I heard from the front of the ambulance, in what sounded like a middle aged man New York accent.

We pulled up to the front and I stepped out of the ambulance and watched with concern as they wheeled Susannah down the halls into a room. I stayed in the lobby to wait for Lily. She soon joined me.

"Hey, Jesse." She cooed and snaked her arms around my neck, which usually meant she was looking for a kiss.

"Not now, Lily. Not here in the hospital. Maybe later." She looked a little hurt and rejected, but she'd be okay. She'd forget about it within an hour. I took Lily's hand and we walked down the long halls in silence, her delicate hand gripping my large, calloused one tightly. We came to Susannah's room, but they wouldn't let us in.

"Sir, I'm her brother." Lily peered up at me strangely, but I kissed her on the top of the head.

"And this is my girlfriend, Lily." The guy that was standing at the door looked tired, and sighed, opening the door for us. I stepped into the room, but he stopped Lily.

"Family only." I suddenly felt really bad for lying to the guy, and even worse for Lily, but she quickly brushed it off and waved from outside the glass window. My attention turned to Susannah, who was cursing rather colorfully at the doctor.

"Goddamn it, you bitch, don't touch me!! It hurts like shittin' hell..." She trailed off when she spotted me and stopped screaming while the guy stuck her arm under an x-ray. Susannah waggled her finger at me in a way that means to come closer. Then she grabbed my shirt collar and I thought she was going to kiss me, but then I saw the fearful look in her eyes.

"Ryan-- he knows."

* * *

**review, please. love, panda**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey... thanks for being so patient. Read and review, please.**

* * *

Still Jesse's POV

I thought about what she said… about Ryan knowing, trying to figure out what exactly it was that she meant. Then it hit me.

Oh.

My.

God.

I am a dead man. Unfortunately, I have never been introduced to Ryan so it is quite possible he doesn't know who I am. Which caused him to take his anger out on Susannah… poor, aching Susannah. It was confirmed, by the way, that her arm is broken. Badly, and it needs a wrist to shoulder cast.

I stroked her hair (I think Lily disappeared to the Food Court about twenty minutes ago) as the guy put a sock looking thing on her arm, wrapped it in cotton, and then asked her what color cast she wanted.

"Black." She growled at the poor guy. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, and she explained.

"Black is a very hateful color. I am feeling very hateful right now. Plus it matches everything." She smiled a little, and then we went back to our former conversation.

"How does... how does Ryan know?" I asked her, and she sighed before reaching up to touch the side of my face with her non-broken arm. It burned, it prickled, it felt like cool water rushing over a sunburn when she touched me. I know that doesn't make much sense, but a lot of things don't make sense. Like the reason why Ryan, evil, evil, Ryan, felt the need to break Susannah's arm.

"He told me-- he told me that every night he watches my balcony from his car." She said softly; her eyes couldn't seem to match mine. I tilted her head up with a finger. I was mad now. That is entering Stalker Territory and definitely invading her privacy.

"Then..." trying to make the connection in my head, "he's known about me all along?"

"He didn't know who you were. He just said you were 'someone'. Well, he brought it up when he wouldn't swing with me at the park, and I mumbled TO MYSELF, I might add, that you would swing with me. I said 'Jesse would swing with me' and that just threw him off the hook. He went insane. When I got off the swings, he grabbed my face," she gestured to some facial bruises that I brushed my finger tips over, "and threw me to the ground. Then he left and I passed out. Then you and Lily found me, thank God."

Suze's POV

It tingled when his fingers touched my bruises, so lightly. It felt like a relief. It felt like... it felt like trust. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was a feeling I liked and I wanted to keep his fingers there, on my cheek, forever and ever. This paranoia may be caused by the pain drugs they gave me for my arm. Which still hurts.

Jesse's POV

When Susannah wasn't looking, when she was screaming and bitching to the cast guy, I took her phone out of her purse and wrote down Ryan's number. We're going to have a little talk, possibly involving fists.

Lily popped back into Susannah's room (I guess the guard was off duty or something) with a slushie attached to her mouth. She came over and sat on my lap. Susannah glared at her.

I noticed, that when Lily sat on my lap, I didn't get all tingly all over like I usually do. It just felt like... like a person was sitting on me. Great.

Lily turned around and started kissing me. I, of course, kissed back because she is my girlfriend, but my thoughts were on Susannah the entire time. Lily did the same thing she does every time, which is suck on my upper lip and then tickle her tongue against mine. I wasn't really into it today, though. She broke away when I didn't do what was expected with a hurt and rejected and confused look on her face.

"What's wrong, Jesse?" She did a puppy dog face and snaked her arms around my neck for another kiss, but I turned my head away, mumbling something like, "I've got a lot on my mind, Lills." She shrugged and skipped over to Susannah, who was still glaring, not at Lily, but at me. Wonderful.

I shot Susannah a look that hopefully read as, "What the hell am I _supposed _to do? She's my _girlfriend._" She rolled her eyes and started to tell Lily what it felt like to break your arm when Lily asked.

"Well, first it feels like someone sawed your arm off with a dull butter knife, and then it feels like someone has embedded knives into your bones. Then your vocal chords feel like they need to be used, so you scream bloody murder along with a few cuss words. Example A: Holy Shit!! Some shittin' bastard has just broken my fuckin' arm!! It hurts like hell." She said the last part with extreme calmness. I think her use of bad words and bloody gore scared Lily. Lily came over to me and burrowed into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body and squeezed gently. Susannah continued to shoot me death stares.

"Lily, baby, why don't you go for a walk for awhile and burn off some steam? Or go see if your parents can take you home. It's getting kind of late." I suggested. Lily sniffed a little but walked out of the room. I turned my attention to Susannah.

"Why did you have to go and scare her like that?" I said disapprovingly, but honestly, my heart wasn't in it.

"She asked. I told." She stared straight into my eyes and licked her lips. Dammit, why the hell didn't I tell the guy I was her husband or something? _Why _I have to say brother?

They had Susannah fill out a few forms of consent and put her address down for the bills.

"You ready to go home, sweetheart?" The nice nurse said. I liked her; the other one kept trying to make me confess to incest. I think she was on to me...

Susannah gave her the middle finger, but before she could say anything, I picked her up and carried her out the door, bridal style. She started squirming.

"I wanna piggy back ride." She whined like a three year old. I didn't argue. She hopped out of my arms and onto my back. She wrapped her legs around my waist tightly and loosely flung her arms around my neck. I supported her under her butt because that's how my mom always said to carry piggy backers. It didn't occur to me but a minute later that I like--possibly love-- her and I am holding her butt. She didn't say anything, just tiredly rested her head on my shoulder.

"Jesse," she murmured in a way that made all the hair on my body stand on end, "do you remember that time, in second grade..." I felt the corners of my mouth turn up slightly at that thought. This, by the way, is a very good thought.

"...when we were watching that Magic School Bus movie, the one where they go in Arnold's body..." I continued. I had a strange feeling that I knew where this was leading.

"...it was just like a second grade movie date. Right when they were being attacked by the anti-bodies..." She was doing that really sexy murmuring thing again. She kind of made her voice sound like she wanted to rip all of my clothes off and give me a blow job right in the middle of the hospital parking lot. But that may be a figment of my wishful imagination.

"...I leaned over and..." I wanted her to say it, not me.

"... kissed me. I screamed, we _both _got detention, and I wouldn't talk to for a week because..." I didn't really know the answer to that one. Might as well take a guess...

"...were really mad at me and hated my guts?" I guessed hopefully. She took her arms from around my neck moved them under my arms, bringing her arms back toward her. She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Nope. I wanted you to do it again. I wanted you to do it when I was paying attention. When I wasn't focusing on Arnold's infected insides."

"What are you suggesting?" I said quietly. I swung her body around so she was facing my face rather than the back of my head. She smiled craftily and did the sexy murmuring thing.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm paying attention."

* * *

**Oooh... cliffhanger. wow, i'm a dork. read and review, please. love, panda**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey fellow Jesse-lovers! read and review, love panda**

* * *

I know a lot of people would say that pick up line is impossible to resist, but it's not. It is actually quite possible to resist it. I just chose not to.

Susannah looked up into my eyes for a minute. Then I completely lost it. I grabbed her face and pulled her as close as I could without breaking our noses. I wanted to eat her... and apparently she felt the same way about me. Her tongue was having a seizure inside my mouth, which felt better than it sounds.

I would like to remind you that her legs were still around my waist and she was squeezing the bejeezes out of me, but it felt _so _good. I broke away for a minute to catch my breath and instead started trailing kisses down her jaw, southward to her neck and around to her ears. Susannah did a bit of exploring of her own. She had slipped her good arm under my shirt and was rubbing circles with her thumb on my abdominals.

I'm sorry if it is entirely wrong to go and attack your best friend with your lips and hands and such, but oh well. The worst part is the best part: I didn't feel the least bit guilty.

She pulled away when my hands started under her shirt.

"Jesse," she breathed, her breathing ragged and her forehead pressed against mine, "we're in the parking lot."

"Right." Then we found my car and dove into the back seat.

* * *

Suze's POV

We finally found the sanity to stop kissing and touching and moaning into each other. I laid my back on his stomach in the back seat of his car, breathing hard like I'd just run three marathons.

"Jesse, I hate you." He sighed. Or he might've just been breathing hard.

"You brought the subject up." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before displaying a weak attempt of trying to defend myself.

"You're the one who kissed me in second grade. Besides, what about Lily? How could you do this to her?"

"So now it's my fault? And what about _Ryan_?" His voice was raising a bit, something he never did with me.

"That's different." I said quietly.

"Oh, yeah it's different. Ryan will _kill _me if he finds out, and the worst Lily can do to you is pinch you." I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head.

"No, Jesse, he won't kill you. He'll kill _me_. He doesn't _really _give a damn about you. In Ryan's eyes, everything that's wrong with this world is _my_ fault." Jesse sat up, bending my body up with his. He slipped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my left shoulder, whispering gruffly. Trying to make me feel better.

"I'm sorry, querida. He won't hurt you, I promise." There he goes again. Acting as if he can save the world; like he can save _my _world. Tears sprung from my eyes as I climbed out of his lap and into the front passenger seat, clicking my seat belt on.

The sad part, he was almost like Ryan. He likes to go around saving girls; he likes them to be breakable and pathetic. He wants all the glory, to be 'manly'. He wants to be in charge and make everything the way he wants to.

So does Jesse.

"No, Jesse, you can't promise. Ryan doesn't stalk _your_ house at night. He didn't break _your _arm. I'm not Cinderella, Jesse. I don't need saving." The next few words stung as I said them.

"I can take care of myself." Jesse didn't say anything as he got out of the back seat and into the front and started the car.

"Take me home, please." The rest of the ride home was in complete silence.

* * *

When we got back to my house, I hopped out of the car before Jesse could say anything. He was waiting in the car to make sure I got in alright, or to ogle my butt or something. I may never know.

Before I got inside, Ryan opened the door to my house and came outside to greet me.

Jesse's POV

Oh my God. She never ceases to amaze me (and neither does that butt). She walked right up to Ryan and gave him a big hug, but I could see the reluctance in her eyes. The way she went up to him without hesitating, probably to prove her point to me: she doesn't need saving.

That doesn't mean I won't try.

Suze's POV

"Hey, Suze, baby! God, what happened to your arm?" Ryan looked appalled and surprised at the cast on my left arm. I had to think of a cover story, and fast.

"On my way home from the park, I fell down. Silly, isn't it? To break your arm just by falling down?" I giggled a little bit, and Ryan didn't say anything, just led me inside to my parents. I turned around and Jesse's car was still there. I shot him a death stare and the car started up and drove next door to his house. I gave him a little smirk when he got out, to show him that I _could _take care of myself.

"Oh, Susie! What happened?" My mother squealed worriedly. My dad just sat on the couch with a concerning eyebrow furrow. I told them the story with Ryan's arm around me, just to prove that everything was alright.

Eventually, after lots of hugs and kisses, I wormed my way out of Ryan's arm and told him I was tired, that I needed to go rest. Ryan looked a bit miffed and mad, but he left without too much of a fight, probably because my parents were watching..

I went upstairs and collapsed on my bed.

* * *

**The next couple of chapters get _very _interesting... and not just because of Suze/Jesse action. let me know what you thought by review, pretty please with sprinkles and whipped cream and nuts and chocolate sauce and chocolate chips and... MARACHINO CHERRIES!! those really are the best. love, panda  
**


	7. Chapter 7

Jesse's POV

I know she doesn't like me worrying about her, but honestly, I can't help it. I want her to know that everything's going to be okay, that nothing's going to hurt her because I won't let it. Unfortunately, that's not the way she wants it. Susannah, as usual, wants to be the damn martyr.

She's always been like this; always fiercely independent. She has always liked to fix her own problems. She's always hated relying on other people to get the job done. She's one of those people that has the philosophy: if you want the job done right, do it yourself. She's never wanted it any other way.

I suddenly felt the need to talk to her, so I picked up the phone and started dialing. Before I finished, though, I hung up. I'll just go over there; otherwise she may say horrible things. I slipped on some pajamas (basketball shorts and a wife beater) and went out the back door barefoot over to her house. I climbed up the ladder in silence and peered into her room. She was lying on the bed, but she wasn't sleeping. Her eyes weren't closed, and her fingers were tapping nervously on the mattress. I knocked softly on the door. She looked up and gave me the middle finger, which was my signal to leave. But I didn't. I sat in my rocking chair until she came out to talk to me.

"Why the hell are _you _here?" She sneered, plopping into the rocking chair. I sighed.

"Is it possible to have a civil conversation with you, Susannah?" She smirked.

"Nope. Now what the hell do you want?" She crossed her arms defensively as I looked her in the eye and took a deep breath. This was going to be an interesting conversation. I told myself: stay on track. Absolutely NO making out. At least not until I get my point across.

"Susannah, I want to help you. I want to help you get rid of Ryan." She glared at me.

"Jesse, maybe I don't _want _your help. This is a one-girl operation. I've told you before, I can tell you again. I can take of myself, Jesse." There she goes again. Her voice cracked nervously on the last sentence.

"And don't go all sexist on me, now. I'm not like Lily, Jesse." My muscles stiffened at my girlfriend's name. "I'm not Sleeping Beauty, I'm not Cinderella, I'm not Rapunzel. I'm not waiting to be saved, because I don't need to be saved. I can take care of myself." I decided on a different approach. I leaned over and touched her on the cheek. She slapped my hand away. Sigh. I stayed close to her.

"Querida, it's okay to ask for help once in awhile. I'm not asking to take care of you and I'm certainly not _telling_ you to let me take care of you. I would like to take care of you very much, but I've known you long enough that you won't allow that for a minute." I could practically see a weight lifted off her shoulders, but her expression didn't soften.

"Jesse, I appreciate your concern, and I know it's okay to ask for help. It's just that I don't want your help. Hell, I don't _need_ your help." Then she slipped a hand around my neck and pulled me in to kiss me very softly on the lips. Crap. Then she went back inside and turned her light off, climbing into bed. This helping thing was going to be harder than I thought.

Now, you might think that I would leave her in this delicate emotional state. But I didn't. I made a makeshift bed out of the two rocking chairs, my head on one and my feet on the other; the lemonade table in the middle.

I couldn't get to sleep.

I knocked on the glass door leading to Susannah's room timidly, slightly hoping that she wouldn't answer because I don't know what I would say if she did answer. My luck, she answered. She didn't look tired at all. I don't think she could get to sleep either. She stared at me in disbelief.

"Jesse, what the hell--" Her gaze fell to my makeshift bed, pointing with an open mouth.

"Did you-- were you--" she looked back up at me, "Damn, you are so hard to stay mad at. Come on in." She motioned for me to follow her into her room. It'd been a long time since I'd been in there, and I looked around, taking it all in. It was so much more... feminine, than I remembered. Susannah walked over and locked the door. What have I gotten myself into?

The light was still off.

"Jesse, why are you still here?" Her soft voice didn't sound indignant, just curious.

"I-- I really don't know, querida." She thought about this for a minute and sat down on her bed. I decided to ask before going over to her, just to make sure that she didn't try to stab me with a bobby pin or something. You know, something irrational.

"Um... Susannah? Can I come sit next to you?" She didn't say anything for a minute. Then she whispered, very quietly, "If you want to." I shuffled over to her bed in my bare feet and sat next to her. Our fingertips were touching.

She put her hands on my shoulders and grinned like she was up to something, like she usually is. Then she leaned into me so that we eased to the point where we were lying down on her bed; her on top of me. I was tingling in every place that her body was touching mine, and that caused a certain little someone to pop up like a concrete pillar. It would've been embarrassing if I was with anyone else, but I was so comfortable with Susannah, and this had happened before, so I tried not to think twice about it. In fact, I thought about it three times.

Susannah tilted her head up so her lips would meet mine, and then she started kissing me very softly and slowly. I turned my head away to avoid it. She scrunched her eyebrows together, but before she could complain, I explained.

"Querida, not now. It's late." I glanced at my watch. "Eleven forty seven, to be exact." Susannah rolled herself off of me in frustration and turned on her side to face the wall away from me, her arms crossing.

She did that thing where she barely opens her mouth to let the words come out so she sounded whimpery and whiny with sexy under tones.

"You don't want me." I sighed, my eyes wandering. They fell to the curve of her hip, which looked so inviting right then, it was practically screaming at me, "Go ahead, touch me." I decided I might as well listen to that little voice that usually gets me in one sort of trouble or another.

I scooched my body up behind hers and looked at her hip a moment longer before barely slipping my hand under the waistband of the sweatpants she was wearing, just so I could feel the warm skin on her hip. Then, with my fingers on her hip, I whispered in her ear, "You know it's not like that.", because it's not. I want her so bad, but not now. Not in the bed. That could result in something we'd regret later.

Suze's POV

I shuddered at the sound of his low, sexy voice, and at the burning touch of his hand on my hip. When I shivered, Jesse slid his arm under my tank top on my tummy, wrapping his arm around my waist. Then, tightening his grip, he murmured into my hair near my ear, "Go to sleep, querida." I closed my eyes and it all went black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone... read and review, please. love, panda**

I was startled awake by Jesse's arm being ripped from my waist. There is no way in hell that is good.

My eyes opened as I was pinned against the bed by my shoulders.

By Ryan.

The first thought that ran through my mind was: holy fuckin' crap. How the hell did he get in here? I locked my door! My second thought was: Jesse. I looked to the side of my bed and saw Jesse staring at me and Ryan in pure shock. He was on the floor, propped up by his arms. He can really rock the bed head look...

Anyway. Back to Ryan.

"Suze, what the fuck is this?!" Ryan's eyes were frantic as he pointed to Jesse, poor Jesse. I took a deep breath.

"Ryan, let go of me." I didn't look him in the eye, but down. Just down. I looked down. Ryan rammed my body against the head board, once again demanding an answer. With my right knee, I jutted upwards and hit him in the crotch. He let go of me to clutch the family jewels, but instead of flying off of me like planned, he fell down on top of me. Now, I am pretty strong, but two hundred pounds of muscle? I don't think so. I looked to the side again, and Jesse was gone. That's probably a good thing, but I can't help but feeling a little abandoned.

"Ryan, get off me." I gasped. He was kind of squashing my airways. I opened my mouth, took in a mouthful of breath, and screamed.

"Suze, what's wrong... holy shit!" No, it was not Andy or my mother coming to my rescue, but Brad followed by David. Andy and Mom soon joined them. Brad ran over and grabbed Ryan by the shoulders, hauling him off me and pinning him to the ground face down.

"Dude, I never did like you much. Now stay away from my sister!" He stuck a knee into Ryan's back. My mom hurried over to my still slightly shocked self and wrapped her arms around me. Andy sat next to her, and David kind of just looked at me from afar. My mom was stroking my hair, but I didn't protest too much.

"Oh, Susie, are you okay? Did he hurt you..." she trailed off and looked at my arm in realization. "Did _he _do this?" I didn't say anything in response, but, as usual, she jumped to conclusions and told herself that he did it. I didn't try to stop her from thinking that. Less work for me. Their attention turned to Ryan and Brad. Andy glared at Ryan. They both got up and went over to them. David walked to my bed and sat down next to me.

David looked me in the eye and asked quietly, "Why? Why did you stay with him? Why did he... do this?" Tears sprung to my eyes and released themselves as I buried myself in David's shoulder. He was a little surprised, but started rubbing my back which felt really good.

"I... I don't know." I sobbed. I sniffed a little, trying to pull myself together while Brad dragged Ryan out the door, followed by my Mom and Andy.

"I know." My heart froze. What the hell did he know. I didn't have to ask David, though. He finished the thought for me.

"I know about Jesse." I let go of him and raised an eyebrow. "Suze, he's been your best friend forever, and you were bound to fall for him some time." This kid should be a psychologist. "And the walls are very thin... besides, Ryan was being mean and non-affectionate. You're going to seek that affection from someone else, why not be Jesse? I mean, he's got the body and has every girl around him around his finger..."

"I know, I know. You don't need to tell me how perfect he is. And... he spent the night last night." David's mouth opened a little. "No, we didn't do it, or anything. But... Ryan found his arm around my waist this morning. Jesse was smart; he left." David was quiet for a minute, taking all of this in.

"Well..." he said slowly, "make sure you talk to him about it, but... doesn't Jesse have a--" I cut him off, not wanting to hear that word.

"NO! Don't say it. Please." David looked at me strangely and then gave me one last squeeze before leaving the room and shutting the door slowly. He understood me. He always had.

Right when he left, I picked up the phone and called Jesse. He knew it was me right away. I'm the only one who calls him.

"Are you all right, querida? I'm sorry that I left, I just..." Jesse sounded worried and slightly frantic.

"Don't worry about it. But... can I come over? I'm tired of being in this house."

"Okay, Susannah. See you in a minute." I sighed and hung the phone up. Then I called to the rest of the house as I headed out the door, "I'm going over to Jesse's house!" David shot me a concerned, disapproving glare at what he knew I was going to do over there, but I averted his gaze and left barefooted, trodding over to Jesse's house.

Knowing that his parents weren't home, I let myself in and called his name. He yelled for me to come on up to his room. His room. I haven't been in his room for years. I shuffled up the stairs and down the hall to the last door on the right, knocking softly on the door before opening it and letting myself inside. Jesse was standing in the middle of the room (he still hadn't brushed his hair, not that I'm complaining). He opened his arms up with a sad, apologetic look in his eyes. I went over to him quietly and squeezed his waist, his arms wrapped around me comfortably. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it didn't really matter. I was in his arms, I was melting, and he was holding on to me like he'd never, ever let go. Finally, he let go without a word and guided me by the waist to go sit down on his bed. But not before locking the door.

He touched the side of my face.

"Querida, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." What the hell is he talking about? _His fault_? Try _my fault._

"Um... Jesse? How the hell is this your fault?" He looked at me questioningly, like he was trying to say with his eyes, "Duh. This is totally my fault."

"Susannah, I imposed and took advantage of you." What crap.

"No, Jesse. This is all my fault. Don't blame yourself." He tilted my chin up with his pointer finger, whispering, "Ryan is wrong. Nothing is your fault. I know he blames you for everything and that you may have started to believe it, but it's wrong. This was all completely my fault." He made so much sense, for once. I took a deep breath and gazed up into his eyes.

"How about this," I said quietly, "it's both of our faults. I kissed you, you kissed me. I think we're both equally guilty, to cut it even." He did this cute little half smile thing and slipped a hand behind my neck. My heart sped up.

He did to me what I did to him last night. He leaned into me and lowered us as one solid... well, person, on to the bed. He was putting most of his weight on his knees, which were on either side of my hips, probably so he didn't squash me. Jesse's not as big as Ryan, and I would be in no hurry to get him (Jesse) off of me, but Jesse's still a good hundred seventy, hundred eighty pounds of solid muscle. Anywho... carry on.

Jesse leaned down, his hair hanging around his face like... I would almost say a halo, but how about a lion's mane. He tangled his hands in my hair and started kissing me slowly, but I kissed back hard and fast. I was in one of those gotta-have-you-now moods. Jesse didn't seem to mind, though. I entwined my right fingers in his hair and pulled him closer, moaning into him.

He broke away, probably so we didn't get too into it and do something we'd both regret at one point or another.

He was breathing hard and I was gasping for breath. I rolled out from under him to catch my breath. I looked over at him; Jesse was lying on his back with his hands folded on his stomach, which reminded me how good he looked in that wife beater. It really did hug his washboard abs. Not to mention his pectorals. My eyes trailed from one said sexy muscle to the next, finally falling on his eyes, where they stayed for a moment. Then a question with a possible answer so horrible, I could barely muster the strength to ask it, but I did, choking each word out painfully.

"Jesse, I really need to know this. Are you sleeping with Lily?"


	9. Chapter 9

Jesse said nothing and refused to look me in the eye.

"Querida, I--" I cut him off, just wanting a direct answer.

"No, Jesse. Let me rephrase that. Have you _ever_ slept with Lily?" The words were barely able to come out of my throat, mostly because I didn't want to hear the answer at all. I mean, what if he said yes? I can't just go and betray Lily like that! I mean, if they're close enough to _sleep _together, then I've done some major intruding, and Jesse needs to make up his mind about who he wants. Jesse continued to be silent. That's not good.

I stared straight ahead at the wall. "Jesse," I said quietly, "answer me please. I need to know." I glanced over at him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing very deeply, which he always did when he was nervous. Then he tilted my chin towards him with one finger and whispered very softly, but I still refused to look him in the eye.

"Yes, but..." he trailed off. My heart stopped and the blood in my veins froze and I never felt so weird to be a virgin in my life. I can't do this. I can't go on doing this anymore. I don't think I can do this to Lily, because she was living the lie that she and Jesse were close enough to sleep together, while Jesse went around and made out with me every chance he got. I closed my eyes and curled up into the fetal position against the wall and Jesse sighed.

"Susannah, can I explain?" He murmured quietly. I shook my head and the tears started coming, trickling down my cheeks like freakin' waterfalls. Great. He continued explaining even though I had no will and or slash urge to hear it.

"It was... it was an accident, really." Wow. He always was quite wonderful at thinking up excuses. He continued.

"We were at her aunt's house last winter." I remember that winter and that trip. He came home all sad and depressed and refused to tell me why. Now it all makes a lot of sense. "They didn't have enough beds, so we had to share one and Lily went to bed dressed like a prostitute and my common sense was replaced with hormones." Jesse smiled just a little bit. "It wasn't planned. We weren't going to do it, it just... happened." Okay, yeah, this all made a lot of sense. But it still hurt, even though Lily should be the one hurting, not me.

"Jesse, you need to pick. Me or Lily." I said softly. Jesse seemed indignant at this demand.

"I didn't make you pick Ryan or me." His voice was raising a little, which meant this most likely wouldn't turn out well. He was turning to his useless defenses because he knew I was going to win this argument. But still, the thought of Ryan hurt a little.

"That's different." I said quietly. "He _hurt _me physically and emotionally. I suddenly felt like I couldn't trust Ryan, and I turned to someone I could." I looked at him. "You. I turned to you." I decided not to add in the seeking affection part from David because Jesse might think that that's all that I wanted from him, although he is an amazing kisser.

"Did you ever sleep with Ryan?" Jesse said slowly. I winced at the flashbacks: Ryan trying to convince me to have sex with him, and me being over reluctant, like I had this inside feeling that it wouldn't be good if we did. His hands were everywhere, along with his mouth. I had actually resorted to screaming, but nobody heard me because his parents were never home. That was the worst part. I usually ended up kicking him in some sensitive places, which, under good circumstances, gave me enough time to put my shirt back on and run out the door.

"He... he tried. But I wouldn't let him." I unfurled from the fetal position and laid flat on my back staring at Jesse's ceiling, which we had painted dark blue with stars in eighth grade. I think that had been the last time I'd been in his room. The project had ended in a paint fight, and the blue didn't come out of my hair (or my skin) for two weeks. My mother prohibited any kind of contact with Jesse for those two weeks. I was very bored.

"You don't think he raped you in your sleep, do you?" Jesse said kind of quietly with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood, which I was grateful for. This was ironic, because I'm a pretty light sleeper, although I _can_ sleep through the smoke alarm. Don't ask.

"I'll never really know, now will I?" I smiled a little. Damn. He is so hard to stay mad at. He turned on his side and touched the side of my face and started pulling me towards him, but I wiggled out of his grasp. It took all of my self control to say the following and actually carry through with the promise.

"Jesse, I am not kissing you until you choose." He scowled, but didn't protest. Probably because he knew I was right. Notice the 'probably'. Sigh.

He didn't say anything for a minute, but then he closed his eyes and muttered, "Give me a week." I wasn't really sure what he meant, but I had a good enough idea. I had a feeling that week was either going to be used killing me or getting rid of Lily.

"Okay, but I'm not kissing you until that week is over." He nodded slowly with a slightly pained look on his face. Then I did what we'd always done when we were younger to seal a promise, but we hadn't done it in years. I licked my right hand and held it out to be shook. Jesse grinned and licked his, grasping my hand tightly and squeezing it.

"Deal."


	10. Chapter 10

After sealing our deal, Jesse took me home (still in his PJs and bed head. I told him on the way over to my house that he is never allowed to brush his hair again. He just laughed at me. Anywho...) to see what happened to Ryan. I opened the front door slowly. Everything was quiet except for the sound of a deep interrogative voice. I walked into the living room to find out that it was a policeman. Crap. He turned over and glanced at me and Jesse.

"Jesse, go home." I hissed, elbowing him in his rock hard abs, which made me hit my funny bone, so I had to jump around like a maniac clutching my elbow while Jesse inched his way out the door. My mother was in tears on the couch.

The policeman stared at me while I hopped around like the crazy woman I am.

"Um, are you Miss Susannah Simon?"

"Call me Suze, I want a lawyer, and I didn't do it." I said calmly. He rolled his eyes and pointed for me to sit on the couch. I took a seat next to my crying mother and stony faced Andy. The brothers were nowhere to be seen.

"Susann-- I mean, Suze, my name is Officer Monkeywrench." I cracked up and started pointing at him. I think I seriously might be high. On Jesse. Officer Monkeycrap rolled his eyes at me again. The nerve, these days.

"Suze, did you know that Mr. Ryan Tyson, your supposed boyfr--" I cut him off.

"Ex, Officer Monkeybrains, ex." He nodded and wrote something down on his little pad of paper. He was probably saying what a smart ass I am.

"Anyway, Suze, were you informed that Mr. Ryan Tyson, your supposed _ex_-boyfriend," extra emphasis on the 'ex', "has been charged with rape and severe assault and battery?" Now I knew why my mom was crying.

"But he never-- we never-- we never did it, Officer." I said slowly and carefully, not wanting to make him all pissy at me and everything.

"Okay, Suze, thank you. I know that." Stalker. "He was charged with rape on three accounts and severe assault and battery three times..."

"With the same three girls?" I guessed. He nodded.

"Um... Officer Monkeyballs?" Andy pinched me. "How old was Ryan when he was charged with this crap? Or, at least, when was the date?" I said this as politely as I could at the moment.

"Unfortunately, Suze, I am not authorized to tell you that. But I can tell you that it all happened within the past five years." Holy crap.

"Now we will get down to business." He cleared his throat. "Did Mr. Tyson ever sexually pressure you?" A bit personal much? I nodded slowly.

"Did you give in to those sexual pressures?" Talk about a smart guy.

"I already told you that, Officer Monkeybusiness. I am a virgin. You can ask my gynecologist." He nodded. I folded my arms across my chest.

"Okay, Suze. Enough with the smart ass names. It's getting annoying."

"You're getting annoying." He sighed and continued questioning me.

"Did Mr. Tyson ever hurt you?" I pointed to the cast on my arm, and Monkeyshit raised his eyebrows and scribbled on his little pad. I also described the pony tail incident in great detail. But I left out the best details: when Jesse kissed me, which I guess doesn't have too much to do with it, but still.

"One more question before I leave, Miss Simon. Were you involved with any other boys while you were in a relationship with Ryan Tyson." My heart stopped beating, and I eyed Monkeybutt suspiciously.

"I," I said slowly, "do not have to tell you that." He sighed and suddenly looked really tired. I wonder if there is a Mrs. Monkeyscrewdriver?

"You're right, Suze, you don't. But if you don't say anything, I will unfortunately have to take that as a 'yes'." I debated in my mind on what to do. I could lie to the Monkeybrains, but that would be lying to an authoratative officer and I could go to jail for that. So, instead, I said the following.

"I'm not going to say anything because otherwise I would be lying to a police officer." Monkeydick smirked a little, and I had the feeling I would not be seeing the last of him today. I heard my mom and Andy gasp collectively when I revealed my affair. They still don't know who it is with, though.

"May I have the liberty to know who you were involved with? I may be able to ask him a few questions."

"Whoever said I was having an affair with a guy?" I stood up and walked with an extra butt shaking to my room. My mom followed me soon after.

"It wasn't with a girl, Susie, even I know that. Can you tell me who, please?" My mom said quietly as she sat down on the edge of my bed to face me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"One hint, Mom. You know him." She frowned a little bit, and then looked at me with a face I couldn't read. It was kind of a mixture of disappointment and relief.

"Jesse?" She whispered. I closed my eyes and did some deep breathing, curling up in the fetal position and burrowing my head in my knees. My mom patted me on the shoulder, laughing to herself.

"Well, Suze, it took you long enough."


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for being patient! This is the last chapter in The Worst Kind of Irony. Thanks for being so cool, guys!**

* * *

One Week Later

Suze's POV

I haven't talked to Jesse in a week, because I knew if I talked to him at all, I would end up making out with him and then I wouldn't be keeping my promise and I am a woman of my word. I heard a little knock on my balcony door, and there was Jesse with a huge smile plastered on to his face and his hands behind his back, obviously holding something. I slid the door open and stepped out onto the balcony with him.

He pulled out a piece of paper from behind his back and handed it to me. I looked at it curiously, and saw that it was an airplane ticket addressed to Lillian McHarris. I peered at Jesse like I had no idea what this was, even though I knew perfectly what it was.

"Susannah," he reached out and touched the side of my face, "Lily's moving to Europe."

We then made out for a half an hour.

* * *

I made him stop kissing me so that I wouldn't die because of no air. We just stood there and held each other until we had caught our breaths; which was about ten minutes. Then I spoke.

"What did you say to her?"

"Well, I said we both needed to expand and branch out because there wasn't a single way this could work overseas and such. She cried." I smirked.

"Did you cry?" He shook his head solemnly.

"She tried to negotiate with me, though. It's kind of sad that this is the way that we had to end it." I nodded. It was kind of sad, and this was the way he ended up breaking up with poor Lily, the innocent victim in this situation, rather than telling her the truth. It kind of hurt-- _me_.

"Jesse, did you tell her about me?" He tilted my head up towards him with his thumb on my chin.

"What difference would it have made, querida? It just would have hurt her more. She's very delicate, you know. Lily didn't like it when... things didn't go her way. It made her feel... unworthy, maybe? I don't know." I sighed and slipped out of his arms and into my rocking chair. Jesse's eye brows furrowed together and his mouth twisted to the side like it does when he's confused.

"What's wrong, Susannah?" I grunted.

"Jesse, I want you to tell her the truth. I want you to tell her that you were going to end it regardless of whether or not she was moving. I want you to take responsibility for this." Jesse didn't move. "I want you to be honest." I said quietly.

"Do you not want this, Susannah?" I pondered about what he meant. Did he mean... of course I wanted to be like this! I loved him... didn't I?

"I want this, Jesse... at least I think I do." He sighed and sat in the rocking chair.

"You think you do." He repeated, his voice empty. I didn't dare look up to his eyes.

"What do _you_ want, Jesse?" I whispered, curling up in the chair so that my knees touched my chest and my arms were around my knees. Jesse sighed and sat down in his rocking chair.

"Susannah, I want _you_. Isn't that enough?" I considered this offer for a minute, and thought about all of our good times together-- as friends. And then I thought of all the good times of whatever we were now... affairees, boyfriend and girlfriend, a couple, friends with benefits. And while the good times as friends did out number the good times as whatever the hell we were, I had a feeling it wasn't because of the time difference we had spent being each of those items.

I realized I liked being Jesse's friend better than I liked being... his make out partner. It was just, well, easier and less awkward. I mean, when we were little, our parents had us take _baths _together. You can't just go and make out with someone after taking a bath with him when you were three. It's just not ethical.

Not that the whole making out with him whilst he still had a girlfriend is ethical.

But who's counting?

"Jesse," I said slowly, "I'm sorry. I love you so much, but I don't think I can love you like that. I love being your friend. And I know this is going to hurt you, because it hurts me. David's explanation is right. David said that... that Ryan wasn't giving me much affection, so I went looking for it elsewhere." Jesse was silent.

"And I'm the one you sought the affection from?" His voice was empty, but not unkind or cold. His voice, right now, was very hard to read.

"I trusted you. I still trust you. And I knew you. Jesse, I'm so sorry." Jesse stood up, bringing me with him.

"It's okay, Susannah," he said, brushing a lock of hair behind my left ear, "I'm afraid I was questioning this whole thing myself." A very small smile found my lips.

"Friends?" He squeezed me around the waist and confirmed my request.

"Friends."

* * *

**The end! Thanks for reviewing! I love you all. And I'm sorry if that wasn't a satisfactory ending. Please remember this was an alternative universe story. Love, panda**


	12. Chapter 12

**Oooooooooohhhhhhh!! I gotcha, didn't I? You guys are priceless. lol!! any way, this really is the end. I swear.**

* * *

Jesse's POV

Susannah looked at me after a minute, and suddenly grabbed my collar and pulled me to an inch in front of her face.

"You know, Jesse, I have had a change of heart." She looked me in the eye. I was a little surprised, and caught of guard, so my mouth was probably hanging open a little bit.

Susannah proceeded to plant her mouth on mine in a kiss so hot that it almost vaporized me.

"Screw friendship."

I don't know where our relationship is going to go in the future, but right now, I'm in complete agreement with her.

* * *

**thanks for reading and not sending me death threats!! love, panda**


End file.
